The His Chronicles
by gleekwithasplashofsondheim
Summary: A series of Puck and Kurt drabbles containing certain things the boys notice about each other.
1. His Voice

**His Voice – (Set during Season 1)**

**I don't own Glee, the characters, "Every Rose Has Its Thorn," etc.**

_I cannot believe I'm back to riding in this deathtrap._

Kurt dragged his feet from the corner of the street up to the yellow vehicle. He waited until the black doors creaked open before he went up the steps. An older woman was driving the school bus. She didn't look at Kurt as he walked in. For all he knew, the woman only cared about getting the kids the hell off her bus. Kurt didn't blame her; he thought that a lot of the high school kids at McKinley were idiots.

"What Is This Feeling" was blasting into Kurt's ear buds as he sat down a couple of rows away from the driver. Luckily, he was sitting alone, with only his iPod to distract him.

The words of the song fit Kurt's situation perfectly: "Loathing. Unadulterated loathing."

_It's only for a month. Maybe if dad is merciful, two weeks. You can do this. You can survive without your car until then. Just let Wicked calm you down._

Kurt hated not having his car. Mercedes breaking the windshield caused Burt Hummel to take away the car while it was being repaired. As soon as his car was back, he can erase the memory of riding in that school bus.

Kurt learned to ignore his peers' yelling and sexual advances toward each other. Kurt looked away from the people who looked at him in disgust. Kurt could only hear the soothing voices of Kristen Chenoweth and Idina Menzel. Kurt imagined himself on that Wicked stage in New York. Too bad he was only 16 and stuck in Ohio. He knew that the Glee Club could never take him to somewhere as glamorous as New York. They didn't even have enough members to count as a competitive team.

Kurt's face gasped in horror as the voices of his idols suddenly stopped. His iPod had died.

The voices of the McKinley High students shook Kurt back into reality.

He groaned in displeasure, trying to escape the sounds. Kurt looked out the window to watch the cloudy sky. Kurt had started to put his iPod away when he heard a soft voice. A male voice. Kurt wasn't sure who this mystery boy was talking to, but Kurt noticed that his voice was a bit husky. It took a few seconds to realize that this boy wasn't talking, he was singing, softly. Kurt looked into the reflection of the window. He saw flashed of a mohawk. Kurt looked quickly back to the front of his seat before the other boy could notice. Kurt was positive that the other boy saw him looking. Fortunately, the boy kept singing. Kurt turned his ear toward the window so he could hear better.

"Every rose has its thorn, just like every night has its dawn. Just like every cowboy sings a sad, sad song, every rose has its thorn. Though it's been a while now, I can still feel so much pain. Like a knife that cuts you the wound heals. But the scar, the scar remains."

The bus screeches to a halt, as well as the boy's singing. Kurt felt a bit sad. It'd been a long time since he heard Poison, especially sung so beautifully. Kurt watched the students rush out of the bus, but he sat still. Kurt did not want to leave the bus, which shocked him.

Noah Puckerman got out of his seat behind Kurt. They were the only ones left on the bus. Puck turned to look at Kurt and flashed him a smile. Kurt returned the gesture, and waved to the other boy. Puck nodded once and left the school bus.

_I wouldn't mind if his voice calmed me down tomorrow. Maybe I'm asking for too much. Maybe not. It's not like I'm into Puck now; I just have an infatuation with his voice._

The next day, Puck sat behind Kurt on the bus. Kurt pretended to be hurt when his iPod "died." This time, Puck sang, "The Show Must Go On," by Queen. As far as Kurt was concerned, Puck was only singing for him. Even if Kurt couldn't grasp the logic behind, whatever it was they had, he didn't question it.

_I could get used to this. At least, until I get my car back._


	2. His Eyes

**His Eyes **

**A Puckurt Drabble**

_A sequel to "His Voice." Set in Season 1._

Noah Puckerman has always been able to express what he was feeling. What he lacked in voicing said feelings; he made up for it with his eyes. His eyes were able to tell an epic novel just with one glance. A lot of people didn't notice this about Puck. The residents of Lima, Ohio mostly focused on what Puck did, or what he said, but never what he saw.

There was one person, however, who focused on completely the opposite. Kurt Hummel. Kurt noticed Puck more ever since their encounters on the school bus. When Kurt got his car back, Puck wasn't around to sing to him. During some moments, Kurt took a minute or two to pay attention to what Puck wasn't saying, and what he wasn't doing. Kurt focused on what Puck saw.

_Kurt Joins The Football Team (Single Ladies)_

Kurt never thought, in his wildest dreams that he would be on the McKinley High football team. Kurt especially found it unbelievable that he was teaching said football team choreography for their game. But here he was, in the choir room, instructing the padded players the proper way to dance to "Single Ladies."

He looked out of his peripherals while instructing, when he saw Puck, standing off to the side. Kurt thought for a second that this was Puck's way of refusing to participate in the dance. Then Kurt looked slightly to the right, to get a better look at the other boy.

Puck was watching Kurt, observing the moves. He focused on Kurt's ass. Kurt quickly looked away, continuing the instruction, trying to hide a blush.

The night of the football game came almost too fast for Kurt. He was anxious about the possibility of kicking. With Beyoncé's help, Kurt could pull it off, but he'd be lying if he said he wasn't completely terrified about it.

Kurt watched from the bench as the football team danced to "Single Ladies" during the time out. Kurt internally critiqued which football players actually paid attention to the choreography, and which that didn't. Puck wasn't half bad, Kurt thought. He guessed that Puck was a visual learner.

Kurt put his hands over his mouth and cheered when Puck scored a touchdown. The football team actually scored. It was a rare sight to see. After a few moments, he realized that he would have to kick. Kurt took a few deep breaths and went out to the field. The crowd was silent. Kurt couldn't hear anything until the first few notes of "Single Ladies."

Kurt couldn't remember anything from the first notes to when he heard the whistle, signaling that McKinley had won the game. Kurt didn't remember how long ago it was since McKinley won a football game, but he knew it was long enough that his field goal meant something.

Some of the players on the football team hoisted Kurt up onto their shoulders. Kurt saw his dad in the stands and blew a kiss to him. He looked around and found Puck standing in the distance, away from the celebration.

Kurt thought that maybe Puck was pissed about the football team not acknowledging his touchdown, but Puck's face said everything. Puck was looking at Kurt. His eyes looked as happy as his smile, as if Puck was proud of Kurt.

Together, Puck with the touchdown, and Kurt with the field goal, they won the football game.

Puck's world came crashing down when he looked over at Quinn and Finn, together. Quinn choosing Finn over him was a stab at the heart. Puck hated the fact that no matter what he did; Quinn would never choose him. Puck was alone on the football field, the kicker nowhere in sight. Puck was almost on the verge of a breakdown, and no one was around to make him smile.

_The Day Puck Chose Glee Over Football_

Kurt waited, like the rest of New Directions, to see how many of the football players in their club would chose Glee. It was close to five o'clock, and people were still missing. Kurt watched the little hand as it moved to the number five. Kurt was pissed off that Finn didn't show up. That traitor, Kurt thought. As much as Kurt tried to get his crush on Finn under control, he couldn't deny that a part of him felt devastated. Finn choosing football over Glee was just another painful reminder that Finn would choose a girl, any girl, over him.

Kurt heard footsteps coming closer to the choir room. He waited in anticipation to see who it was.

Noah Puckerman.

After Rachel hugged Puck, Kurt noticed Puck's eyes. Puck looked like he had finally found a home, and he found it in Glee Club. Kurt knew he was right because he remembered that look on himself when he first joined New Directions.

Kurt thought, for a split second, if Kurt was, or ever would be, a part of Puck's image of home.

_Winning Sectionals_

Since Mr. Schue wasn't able to be a part of the initial Sectionals win, the members of New Directions decided that they would bring their win to him.

Finn called Mr. Schue immediately after the performance, saying that the Glee Club wanted to tell him the results in person. Normally, he wouldn't be stoked about going on school grounds on a Saturday, but this was important. Finn, and other members of the club, wanted to surprise him.

While Finn made the call to Mr. Schue, the bus arrived back at McKinley. Puck and Kurt were on trophy duty. The kids of New Directions hurried into the high school, with Puck and Kurt trailing behind.

"I'm perfectly capable of carrying the trophy myself, Puck."

"No way. I'm in charge too, so we'll carry it together."

"I can handle it. The trophy isn't that heavy."

"I'm not saying you can't handle it. Ugh. Damn it, Kurt. Just let me in on some of the glory, will you?"

Kurt huffed and let Puck grab the other end of the trophy. They walked slower in the hallway so then their pace stayed consistent.

"I'm glad that you chose Glee Club."

"Let me guess, you're shocked and it was completely out of my character, right?"

"No. I guess I just wanted to say that I kind of like having you around now."

Puck looked at Kurt. Kurt search Puck's eyes for an interpretation of his reaction, but it was hard to tell. Kurt worried that his admission would cause Puck to drop the trophy, hit Kurt, or insult him. Kurt didn't admit feelings of friendship with other boys, mostly because he would feel uncomfortable if they thought that Kurt would try to hit on them.

Puck didn't say anything as they went into the choir room. The entire club waited in silence for their teacher. Some of the members hit the trophy behind their backs when they heard Mr. Schue coming in.

When the Glee Club presented Mr. Schue with the sectionals trophy, Puck looked over at Kurt. Kurt is glowing with joy. Puck can't help but smile at his friend. That's right, friend, Puck thought. Puck was happy that he and Kurt won something together, again. While their win during the football game was exclusively because of them, their win at Sectionals happened because of them and the Glee Club. Puck wondered what else he might win with Kurt.

The club celebrated with Mr. Schue by singing, "My Life Would Suck Without You." At some point during the song, Puck and Kurt look at each other while singing the end of the chorus.

Even if both boys never said it out loud, they both meant it. "My life would suck without you."

_The Time They Almost Lost Everything_

Puck's only reaction to Kurt's new look, as far as Kurt was concerned, was a stare and an arched eyebrow. In an attempt to get closer with his dad, Kurt started to wear truckers hat and loose, worn clothing. He started to date Brittany, who was not Kurt's type because she was a girl. Puck first learned about all of this when Kurt came into Glee Club one day and sang a John Mellencamp song. Kurt was basically a carbon copy of the singer.

Kurt saw Puck's eyes once, those eyes internally shared the same feelings as Kurt.

Lost. Confused. Betrayed.

Puck, reacting solely on his emotions, thought that if Kurt could deny that he was gay, again, then Puck could deny that he was a decent guy.

A part of Puck thought that if he did this, then Kurt would snap out of this phase of pretending to be straight. Another part was hurt to see his friend like that. It wasn't Kurt at all. For a guy so determined to be who he was, Kurt seemed too willing to give it all up.

During Kurt's performance, the only thing he could do was stare and raise his eyebrow.

Outside of Glee Club, his plans were set. He started bullying the geeks by throwing them into dumpsters, just like he used to with Kurt. Puck also took things one-step further; he started dating Mercedes, Kurt's best friend.

Because Mercedes was a cheerio, Puck's popularity shot up back to where it was before he joined Glee Club. On the outside, Puck seemed like he was okay with being popular. On the inside, he fucking hated it.

This time around, Puck realized that the people who thought he was popular were some of the biggest assholes on the planet. None of those people cared about him for anything more than a status symbol. That included some of his former friends and some ex-girlfriends.

Puck dropped Mercedes off at her class, when he spotted Kurt in the hallway. Puck walked up to Kurt, surprising the smaller boy.

"This is the first time I've ever been disappointed in you."

"Really, Puck? Since I joined the Glee Club?"

"No. Like ever. As in, as long as we've known each other. What's up with this?" Puck gestured his hand from Kurt's trucker hat to his sneakers.

"This isn't really something I wish to discuss right now."

"Why?"

Kurt didn't answer and continued walking.

"Do you still not trust me?"

Kurt stopped walking and turned to Puck.

"My father just came to school to tell me that he has boy plans with Finn, while I was with Brittany. I know you're concerned, trying to be a good friend, I know. I just cannot talk about it without wanting to hit something."

Puck looked at Kurt, stuck on what to do. He wasn't great at comforting people. At least, other people told him that he wasn't. The week Puck had, denying that he was a good person, was eating at him. With Kurt, Puck forgot all about his own pain and wanted to help him out. With Kurt, Puck was willing to try, even if he wasn't successful. He decided to go with his mom's advice.

"If you change your mind, I have perfect hearing."

Puck was not about to let Kurt lose what progress he had that easily. If he did, then who else could Puck look up to? Not Finn. Not only was he a follower, but also he stole Quinn from him. Puck wasn't completely innocent with the Quinn situation, but Finn was still a follower, and Puck didn't admire followers. Mr. Schue was a true leader, but Puck didn't really trust him.

Kurt had both of the qualities Puck admired in certain people: A leader, and someone he could trust.

The next week, Kurt came into school, strutting in the latest McQueen outfit that he'd been saving money for a few months to get. Kurt saw Puck in the hallway, mouthed, "Thank you," and walked into his English class.

Kurt didn't unload his problems unto Puck, but the results were still great. Kurt went back to being himself, out, proud, and not dating Brittany. And in turn, Puck and Mercedes stopped dating (both parties would claim that they ended it), and he stopped bullying geeks (for the most part, he was still a badass, after all).

Of all the people in Lima, Ohio, Kurt Hummel was one of the few who truly understood Noah Puckerman. All Kurt had to do was look into Puck's eyes, and an epic novel would pour out. The epic novel of Puck and Kurt had just begun, and for those brief moments, Kurt was the only person with access to the story.


	3. His Heart

**His Heart**

**Set in Season Two**

_Just a cautionary warning, I wrote this chapter with very little knowledge of Judaism. I did some research about synagogues specifically for this chapter. I apologize ahead of time if this is not accurate._

Puck would not get the award for best attendance when it came to temple. The Puckerman family had more liberal beliefs than some of their relatives, but Puck's Nana always mentioned how he should go to temple more often. She would often tell the boy of the cute girls that went that were his age and available. Puck hated the fact that people he didn't know from the synagogue told his Nana about his former pool cleaning business. There were just some things that Nana did not need to know about him, that being one of them.

Earlier that week, Puck walked into the choir room thinking that it was just going to be like any other Glee rehearsal. He didn't expect everyone sitting still, saying nothing, and crying.

Puck walked to Mercedes. "What's going on?"

"Kurt's dad is in the hospital. He had a heart attack and now he's in a coma."

Puck didn't know what to say other than, "Oh."

"Yeah, like you even care." Mercedes glared at him, not even hiding her tears.

Puck looked around at the room of people. They chose to not acknowledge the possibility that Puck might care for Kurt too, that he was concerned about Kurt's father. Some of the Glee Club members shared Mercedes' glare towards Puck. They looked at him like he personally gave Burt Hummel the heart attack. Puck figured that they were doing this because they were hurt, but he would not stick around to be the scapegoat.

"Fuck this. I'm out." Puck threw his hands up as he walked out of the choir room.

Puck knew what it was like to not have a father around. His dad walked out on the family almost eight years ago. His sister, Sarah, was too young to remember, but Puck had fond memories of his father before he split.

Puck had remembered the first time that he realized that his dad wasn't coming back. He was almost eleven, and his dad had been gone for a few months by then. Puck had signed them up for the Lima Fair Three Legged Race; in hopes that his dad would surprise him by showing up so they could win the race. Puck was a fast runner for a young boy, and his dad was a track star when he went to McKinley High. Puck wanted to show his new friend, Finn Hudson, how awesome his father was. Puck waited at the starting line, watching the other child and parent teams line up. Finn could barely hold his balance, so Carole almost had to drag her son around.

One minute before the race started, the announcer told the young Puck that he either needed to have a race partner, or move out of the way. Puck went to a shaded tree nearby and stood against it. When Puck heard, "On your marks, get set," he looked around to try to find his father. When the gun shot off, Puck started to cry. He didn't come, he thought. That was all he could think for a week. After that, there was no mention of his father from Puck for a long time. Puck didn't think that someone he admired so much could be so cowardly and just leave without a note or a goodbye. Nothing.

Puck definitely knew what it was like not to have a father. Kurt's dad wasn't gone in the same way his was, but Burt could very easily slip out of Kurt's life in a profound way. Puck was not going to let that happen to someone who actually gave a shit a about him. Puck had never met Burt Hummel, but he didn't need to. He raised Kurt, so Puck figured that Burt was a good man.

Puck's Nana would not have to convince him to go to temple this week. He would go there willingly.

Puck went to temple that weekend in the traditional yarmulke and his best clothes. His Nana had a shit-eating grin on her face and pointed him out to several girls before the service started.

"This is my grandson, Noah. Say hi to the girl, you're embarrassing me."

Puck groaned. "Please do not pimp me out."

Nana hit him on the arm, and Puck rubbed it, pretending like it hurt. "Hush, boy."

There was a point during the service where there was no rabbi speaking, and that if someone wanted to publically say a prayer, they could during this time. Puck went up to the podium and cleared his throat before speaking.

"Hey, my name is Noah. A friend of mine is going through a tough time. His dad is in the hospital, in a coma actually, and we're not sure what will happen. Um. I hope that you could pass your thoughts and prayers to my friend, Kurt, and his dad, Burt Hummel."

Puck walked back to where Nana was sitting. Puck sat down, and for a moment watched the entire synagogue pray, before doing the same himself. His Hebrew was rusty, but he remembered an important prayer for someone who was ill. He repeated it three times before the service continued again. Nana squeezed Puck's hand and smiled. "You did good, kid."

As soon as Burt Hummel arrived back home, Kurt texted everyone in Glee Club about the wonderful news. The first text he got came from Finn.

"That's awesome, dude! We were all really worried. Even Puck. He like prayed for your dad and stuff."

Kurt tilted his head in disbelief.

"Really? He never mentioned that."

"Well, that's what he told me. Hey, tell Burt that as soon as he's feeling better that I'm taking him out for burgers. My treat."

"Dad's diet from now on will NOT include burgers! I'll send him the message though. And thank you, Finn, for inviting me."

Kurt closed the phone and pondered over the past week. Out of all the people in Glee Club, Puck was the only one who didn't bombard him with prayers and invites to religious services. That alone made Kurt appreciate Puck's kindness that much more. Kurt had to thank him somehow.

Luckily, Kurt knew Puck's weakness.

Kurt arrived at school just barely before first period. He had gotten up earlier than usual to make waffles from scratch. Then, of course, he had to do his daily moisturizing as well as take a shower, so Kurt was literally running out the door that morning. He didn't have time to clean the kitchen, so he would do it after school. Kurt hoped that his dad would still be sleeping when he got back. He did not want to deal with his dad's lecturing.

Kurt approached Puck in the hallway, out of breath, and handed him a container that had a small package of nutella on top.

"What's this," Puck asked.

"A stack of homemade waffles with some nutella spread to go with it. I made it for you." Kurt watched Puck open the container.

"Homemade?"

"I'm sorry if they're a little bit cold."

"Thank you, Kurt," Puck said quietly. He had to stop himself from eating the entire thing in one bite, so he admired the beauty of the waffles.

"Actually, I should be the one saying thank you. Finn told me that you prayed for my dad. You were the only one that didn't push the prayer stuff down my throat. It really meant a lot to me that you didn't."

"I don't push my beliefs on people. Honestly, I don't give a fuck if people agree with me or not. Also, I wasn't the only one that prayed for your dad. I got the entire synagogue to pray as well. I think it was our secret Jewish superpowers that made your dad get better, but science works too."

Kurt laughed and playfully shook his head. "Can I give you a hug?"

"Stop stealing my lines, Hummel," Puck chuckled, "Yes, yes. You can always give me a hug. Come here."

Puck grabbed Kurt's shoulder and pulled him into a tight hug. They stayed that way for a good minute before Puck released the hug and focused on the waffles.

"Did you bring any utensils?"

"Oh, shit! I knew I forgot something."

"It's not a big deal. I have my hands. They're the best utensil of all," Puck said with a wink.

"Everything about what you just said is disgusting."

"Fine, I'll steal some from the cafeteria, happy?"

"Slightly."

"Do you want to watch me eat the waffles?"

"In your dreams, Puckerman."

"You're probably right."

Kurt's jaw dropped and Puck roars into a huge laugh before leaving Kurt behind in the hallway.

For the very few people that managed to get into his heart, Puck would do anything for them. Kurt Hummel was no exception.


	4. His Anger

**His Anger**

**Set in Season Two**

Puck sat in his truck in the parking lot of the convenience store, thinking about what had happened earlier that day. Kurt gave him waffles as a thank you gesture. Did Kurt know about my obsession with waffles, Puck thought. He wouldn't have been too surprised if Kurt knew. Puck did mention it a few times in Glee Club. One time, he tried taking Mercedes out on a date to IHOP, because they didn't just have pancakes, they had damn good waffles too. She hit his arm and rejected the date. That was one of the many reason why it didn't work out with Mercedes; she didn't appreciate his love of waffles.

Nobody, on the other hand, knew that he loved waffles with nutella. Puck never told anyone because in Lima, anything that was international was too "foreign" to understand. He thought it was bullshit, but back then he didn't want to become a target. So he, regrettably, kept his mouth shut.

Until that day, Puck had never met anyone else in Lima who loved nutella, or even knew about it.

He was lucky enough to encounter it when he was a young boy, during a road trip to Columbus. His dad was going there on a business trip, and decided to bring Puck and his mom (who was two months pregnant with Sarah). They went to a restaurant once they got to Columbus, a local breakfast joint. Puck remembered trying the waffles with the weird sounding spread. His dad hated the taste of the spread, and asked the waitress what the "devil's garbage" it was. The lady replied that it was nutella, an international delicacy. Puck's dad always lashed out when he was faced with something unfamiliar. This made the young Puck hide many things from his father. After his dad left a few years later, Puck still kept many secrets to himself.

A big one included that he didn't just like girls.

When Kurt brought him the waffles, with the nutella spread, Puck took a second to register what was happening. It was just another day at school, except it wasn't. His boy, Kurt, spent a morning making the waffles just for him, to thank Puck for being there by not being there. It confused the hell out of him. A part of Puck wondered if Kurt was coming down with something, because last time he checked, no one gave him anything.

The hug was a mystery to him as well. Not the actual hug. Puck knew that Kurt might want a hug after his dad got out of the hospital. It was a friendly thing to do. Puck was getting used to the notion of being a good friend, so it made him happy to see Kurt smile. Puck liked the hug, probably more than he should have. Puck shook his head to try to escape his thoughts.

Puck grabbed his stick shift and moved it, thinking back on the hug once more.

Kurt's slender body against his.

Kurt's styled hair against Puck's chin.

Puck heard a loud crash and felt a sharp whiplash against his seatbelt. He blinked a few times. He had crashed his car into the convenience store. He swore that he put the gear into reverse. Puck looked down, the gear was in drive. He felt various parts of his body, and looked at his face in the mirror, to make sure he was okay. Puck was physically fine.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! This can't be happening!"

Puck was beating his fists against his steering wheel, causing the horn to go off multiple times.

Inside the convenience store, the clerk was on his cell phone. Puck didn't see anything other than his fists beating up his truck.

"Shit! Fuck! Cock-sucking motherfucker! Son of a bitch!"

The next half hour was a fog for Puck. He slightly remembered getting into the back of the police car. He recalled getting searched and the feel of the ink on his fingertips.

The overall shock didn't wear off until Puck was in a cell, wearing an off-white prison uniform. Up until that point, his antics had only gotten him detentions or a suspension. This was the big league of punishments. This was where the real Lima losers ended up, in a cell, not stuck in some low wage job like Quinn had told him.

This time, Puck would have to wait longer than an hour to be set free.

All he had now were his secrets.

The news of Puck's arrest reached like wildfire. It was all anyone talked about at McKinley. There were many theories as to why, but the main one that circulated came from Jacob Ben-Israel.

"I know the clerk who was working that shift. He can confirm that Puck crashed into the store with his truck in an attempt to steal the ATM machine."

The Glee Club got the official announcement of Puck's arrest from Mr. Schue. Everyone in the choir room already knew, but humored Mr. Schue. The reactions from most of New Directions weren't surprised. A few said that Puck going to Juvie was inevitable.

Kurt's heart sank at the news. He was the only one who didn't say anything. He didn't understand how Puck went from accepting the waffles and nutella yesterday afternoon to getting arrested hours later. Nothing about that short timeline made sense.

Of course Kurt heard Jacob's rumor, among other rumors. He chose not to speculate into any of them. At first he had thought that someone was playing a prank on Puck's behalf. It wouldn't have been the first time. The announcement from Mr. Schue was a sign that it wasn't a joke. His friend was seriously in Juvie, and Kurt had no idea why. Kurt looked at the other Glee club members, going on like Puck's arrest didn't matter. He kept his poker face. Internally, he was pissed off. Why was nobody else expressing concern for Puck, Kurt thought. Kurt got more upset as he continued to think about it. He grabbed his things and rushed out of the choir room.

Puck laid on the bunk, stared at the ceiling. He had counted 42 squares on the ceiling at least five times since he woke up. The boredom of being in Juvie was getting to him, almost as much as the violence he was put through.

The first night ended with Puck being treated in the nurse's station. His nipple ring had been torn out, and he had various bruises from where three other guys had hit him. The main man of the trio, Sparky, targeted Puck because his mohawk reminded Sparky of a skunk, which was worse than a rat in his mind. Puck tried fending them off, but being outnumbered did not work in his favor.

Puck spent the next morning bored out of his mind, trying to ignore the bruises. He had a small window, which helped, so he could at least see outside. Unfortunately, fences and walls barricaded the outside. Puck focused his attention on the ceiling tiles. He actually had an in depth conversation in his head about why someone would pick 42 squares, and how they determined the size of each square.

"Puckerman!" The guard yelled as he opened the cell door. "You have a phone call from a click named Elizabeth."

Puck stood up and walked out of the cell with the guard. He was confused. Puck didn't know anyone by that name. Who the hell is Elizabeth, Puck thought.

He was led to a room where there was a row of public phones. "You get five minutes!"

Puck sat down at the chair in front of the phone, and picked up the receiver.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Noah."

"Who is this?"

"It's Kurt."

Puck was about to address Kurt by name, but he looked around. There were three other guys in the room using the phone. Puck thought it was probably safer not to.

"Interesting name change, princess."

"I used a different name so then nobody would make any rash judgments about you."

Puck looked around the room again before speaking. "Because you're my friend."

"How sweet of you to not point out the obvious. But, yes, that too. Since my voice is higher, using a girl's name would work for me. And technically, I am an Elizabeth. It's my unofficial middle name."

Puck rolled his eyes. He couldn't wrap around his head why any guy would want a girl's middle name. But this was Kurt. "Did you call me just to tell me that?"

"No."

"Then what?"

"How dare you get sent to Juvie?"

"Are you kidding me?"

"Do you know what people have been saying about you at school? Puck tried stealing an ATM machine. Puck shoplifted the convenience store. Puck ran from the cops. That's all I heard yesterday. And when Mr. Schue told the Glee Club that you got arrested, over half of them said that it was going to happen sooner or later. Not one person that I saw seemed concerned, like they just assumed that you would end up to be a Lima loser. I thought that you wouldn't end up here, that you could leave this shit hole town. How fucking dare you get sent to Juvie! How dare you make me feel like I'm the only person that's worried about you!"

As Kurt spoke, Puck could feel the anger boil in him. Puck did not need to be told off, especially coming from Kurt.

"You're worried? Well that's just fucking great, E-liz-a-beth! You're the reason why I'm here in the first place!"

Besides the sound of breathing, the line was silent. Puck was mentally kicking himself for saying that. Kurt broke the silence.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing. Forget I said anything."

"No. I'm not going to forget it. What did I possibly do that got you sent to Juvie?"

Puck scanned the room a third time. The same guys were still in the room, talking on the phone. Puck did not want another reason to be considered a target while he was in Juvie. He already got beaten up for his mohawk. If the other guys found out that Kurt called him, then they would assume that they were boyfriends. Puck wouldn't have given a shit, but more guys would gang up on him for that than for his mohawk. Puck's patience with people there was thin enough. It wouldn't take too much to make him snap.

"I can't tell you."

"Why?"

"Because you don't want to hear it, that's why."

"Yes, I do, Noah."

"You piss me off sometimes, you know that? You don't know when to back down from a conversation. I don't want to talk about this with you. What part of that don't you understand?"

"I'm trying to help – "

"You can't help me! I don't need your help! I don't want your help!"

"Oh."

The guard came in and yelled that time was up.

"I have to go." Puck hung up, not giving Kurt a chance to say goodbye. He was pissed at himself for pushing Kurt away. Besides his mother, Kurt was the only person who inquired about Puck since he got arrested. He didn't entirely think much on it; it had only been two days so far. Puck knew that he was innocent, so it would only be a matter of time before he could go home again.

"So, is that Elizabeth chick your sister?" The guard was hinting at something, and Puck did not trust the guy any more than he could throw him.

"My cousin."

"Is she legal?"

"No!"

Puck did not want that guard thinking about Elizabeth… Kurt. He could only guess what fucked up shit that guard might be into, and it angered him.

If anyone were going to do anything with Kurt, it would be me, Puck thought.

Not that he wanted to. Compared to that guard, Puck was obviously the better choice.

"What a shame. She sounds like she'd be a screamer."

Before Puck could think, his fist flew to the guard's face. He only got one hit in before being tackled, handcuffed, and thrown back into his cell.

Puck was once again in a routine of checking the number of tiles on the ceiling, while ignoring his bruises. Puck wondered about many things. Why did Kurt call? Why did Kurt say that he was the only one that was worried? Why didn't Kurt assume the rumors were true? Was Finn not worried? Quinn? Santana? Was Kurt the only person who he could rely on?

Rely on, fuck that shit, Puck thought, I don't fucking need anybody.

Except that he did.

Puck needed his princess.

That was his biggest secret.


	5. His Hands

**His Hands**

**Set in Season Two**

He looked down at his hands, noting to himself the damage. The knuckles were bruised, almost to the point of the skin breaking. They were red at that point, but he knew from past experiences with punching things that they would be purple in no time.

"Puck," a faint voice called to him.

Puck got released from Juvie on a Sunday afternoon, so he had enough time to be alone before facing the firing squad that was McKinley High the next day.

Puck would be bombarded by questions that he didn't want to be asked.

"_Who'd you bend over in Juvie for, Fuckerman?"_

The hockey team would ask him, as well as the football team, and the baseball team.

These were just a few people he wouldn't mind beating up, partly because of boredom, and partly because he needed to release _something_.

Puck's urge to hit someone was overshadowed by the realization that if he got into any trouble, he would land right back in Juvie. He was not going to go back there, ironically, without a fight.

Puck's urge to hit someone was replaced by an urge to hit something, which was what he did to the brick wall of the convenience store that he drove into. To him, it seemed like justice, trying to hurt a building that helped ruin his life. No matter what he tried to do, people would always see him as the kid who got Quinn knocked up, and now as the kid who went to Juvie. Puck already knew the outcome: no one would believe in him anymore.

When Puck got back home late Sunday night, he washed the blood off his hands in the bathroom sink. He didn't bother putting ice on it, or bandaging it up. Puck would let the pain in his hands stop him from doing any more reckless stunts, for a while at least. A reminder of how much he's fucked up.

"Puck," the same voice called a second time.

Puck blinked a couple of times and realized that he was leaning against his locker, and that a brunette was standing next to him. The brunette was staring at Puck's hands.

"Hey, Kurt," Puck said quietly.

Kurt started to go through his shoulder bag until he found what he was looking for in one of the smaller pockets. He took out a small yellow tube and handed it to Puck. Puck arched an eyebrow, but took it from the smaller boy. Their fingertips brushed very briefly.

"It's Vitamin K crème, it'll make sure that the swelling doesn't get worse," Kurt closed his shoulder bag.

"Aren't you going to ask what happened, everyone else is," Puck said.

"The last time I inquired about you, you made it very clear that you didn't want my help. And before you say anything, I'm not helping you now. Basic medicine is helping you."

The smaller boy started to walk away. Puck groaned in frustration. He shouldn't care about not having Kurt mad at him, but he did, for some reason.

"Hummel, wait!" Kurt stopped and turned around.

"What," Kurt asked as he walked back to Puck's locker.

"Finn and Rachel brought me to school this morning, which is a routine I don't want to happen again."

"And the point of this is?" Kurt crossed his arms over his chest.

"Could you maybe give me a ride to school until my truck's fixed? There's a better chance of it staying on the down low if I rode with you than with them."

"Why, because anything you do with me has to be on the down low, Puck?" Kurt gripped his arm, trying to keep his cool. Puck could sense that Kurt was hostile.

"What? No! That's not what I mean," Puck got a little closer so he could talk quieter, "It's embarrassing to be given a ride from anyone, dude. And I asked you because you know what that's like. Cut me some fucking slack, Kurt."

"Don't call me dude."

"So," Puck asked, lifting up his eyebrows. Kurt took a deep breath and put his hands back on his shoulder bag.

"Text me your address. I'll think about it."

Kurt wanted to give Puck another chance with the concept of being friends, even though a part of him thought he shouldn't. Kurt tried to talk to Puck when he was in Juvie, and Puck pushed him away.

He couldn't explain it; there had always been some sort of push and pull system between them. Puck stopped bullying him, Kurt talked to him civilly. Kurt had his huge crush on Finn; Puck started having conversations with Kurt that didn't involve Glee Club. Puck got accused of making the Glist; Kurt attempted to get on the Glist so he could be seen as a badass. Kurt could count those moments like he could count his limbs.

Not that I've been paying attention, he thought.

Which was definitely a lie. Kurt had noticed Puck's actions for a while.

Most of the people in Glee Club think that Kurt's first and only crush was Finn. Kurt had two and a half.

Finn was the first. That crush was based on the image of knighthood that Kurt constructed in his head, only to be disappointed with Finn's past brushes with homophobia. Everyone knew about the crush, and Kurt made it a little too obvious for comfort. Kurt gained a brother out of Finn, which, along with the argument in the basement, diminished that infatuation.

Sam was the half crush. Kurt liked him right away because he set off his gaydar. Since Sam was the new kid, with no knowledge of Kurt's history with boys, he could start fresh and try to gain his friendship. Kurt had guy friends, sure, but that was mostly because of Glee Club, not because of him alone. Kurt didn't come on as strongly to Sam as he had with Finn, but he did try to leave hints to see if Sam would bite. Sam dating Quinn squashed his chances. Kurt considered Sam his half crush because it lasted less than two weeks.

Kurt's current crush was Noah Puckerman. This secret he breathed to no one. People would assume that he would have the prince image in his head as with Finn, or that he had liked him since the bullying days. Neither would be true. Kurt's observations and admiration of Puck had been building ever since they joined Glee Club.

If Kurt had to pick a moment that made him realize that he wanted to be more than friends with Puck, it had to have been the day Beth was born.

Kurt, along with the rest of New Directions, watched Puck come out into the waiting room of the hospital. Puck looked happier than he had even been, from what Kurt could tell. "It's a girl," Puck said, before hugging Mr. Schue. Kurt was next to Mr. Schue, so when Puck looked past the teacher's shoulder, the first person he saw was Kurt. Puck had tears in his eyes, happy that he brought a child into the world. Kurt beamed at Puck. He gave Puck's hand a quick squeeze and a reassuring nod. The feeling of his hand on Puck's felt like a lightning bolt that went from Kurt's hand straight to his heart.

It was that simple of a moment, yet that profound of an impact.

Since that day, when Kurt thought about what love must felt like, his mind always went to that memory.

Kurt parked his Navigator in front of a small, one story house at 7:30 on Monday morning. He got out his cell phone and sent a text message.

_I'm parked outside._

Kurt received a text back.

_K._

"A one word text, Puck? Really? What a waste of a texting plan." Kurt took his last free moment alone to check this hair in the rearview mirror. "Flawless, of course."

Puck walked up to the Navigator and got inside the car.

"Hey."

"Morning, Puck," Kurt looked at Puck's hand, "I see that the bruises are healing."

"Yeah, that crème stuff works pretty well."

Puck put his seatbelt on and waited for Kurt to start driving, but the smaller boy gripped his hands on the steering wheel and stared straight ahead.

"Aren't we going," Puck asked.

Kurt turned his gaze to Puck.

"If we're going to be friends, like you claimed we were last week, you have to get your act together. I tried to be there for you and you yelled at me. I will not let you talk to me like that. I will not let you treat me like that."

"You're talking about the phone call," Puck stated.

"Yes, I am. I also will not let you go down the Lima spiral. I think you're better than that. No. I know you're better than that."

"You're that confident about it, huh? Why?"

Kurt exhaled heavily. "Because I care about you. And if you rebuke with how gay that sounds, I will leave you here and never do you a favor again."

"Maybe it wasn't cool that I yelled," Puck shrugged, "but you could have waited until I got out of Juvie to lecture me."

"Excuse me for not knowing how long you'd be locked up," Kurt replied sharply.

"Whatever." It was too early to get into an argument. All Puck really wanted to do was just go to school and relive another day of hell before slumping home.

"I have to ask you something."

"I'm not telling you if the soap shower stories are true."

"That's not what I wanted to ask. What did you mean when you said that it was my fault that you landed up in Juvie?"

Puck dreaded this question more than any other. His stomach flipped backwards and his face felt like it was burning. He regretted saying it when it flew out of his mouth during the phone call.

Of course Kurt would take it seriously you idiot, Puck thought.

It's not like Puck meant what he said. Well, he did at the time. He was thinking about Kurt when he crashed the truck. Specifically, he was thinking about the hug they shared. Just like he was thinking about the hug at that moment.

Puck felt himself starting to get hard. _Shit! I got to get the fuck out of here!_

He unbuckled his seatbelt and started to open the door. He was stopped by Kurt's hand holding his own.

"Stop trying to push away when I'm trying to talk to you, Noah."

Puck froze for a few seconds, half on the car seat and half out of the car. He climbed back in the car and closed the door.

"I'm not ready to talk about it, okay," Puck said defensively.

"Okay. Well, if you ever do want to talk, I'm here, alright?" Kurt gave his hand a squeeze; Puck saw that they had been holding hands that entire time and he just realized that.

"You're holding my hand, Kurt," Puck said with a confused look on his face. Kurt looked down and retracted his hand.

"Whenever Mercedes or my dad is having a hard time, I hold their hand. It's instinct, I guess. I'm sorry." Kurt turned the key to start the engine, and he went back to his previous state of clutching the steering wheel and staring straight ahead.

Puck watched Kurt. Puck thought it was odd that Kurt could hurl any insult at anyone without bashing an eye, but something as simple as holding someone's hand made him retreat like that. Then it dawned on him. Puck was pissed at himself for not seeing it before, and even more pissed that he was part of the reason why. It had been a while since he had bullied the smaller boy, but it still had an impact.

Puck decided that he didn't care if he was going to look "gay" for holding Kurt's hand; Puck was going to do what he wanted. So he did. Puck grabbed Kurt's hand from the wheel and brought it back down to the seat.

Kurt looked at the joined hands and smiled slightly before looking back at the road.

"Can this be like my apology for last week or whatever," Puck cleared his throat.

Kurt nodded. Kurt tried not to overreact. He was holding hands with Noah Puckerman, who not only didn't mind, but also initiated it.

"I can't even remember the last time I've held hands with a friend," Puck saw Kurt briefly looking at him, "Drive faster, Kurt, we're going to be late for school."

Kurt jokingly scoffed. "You care about school, Noah?"

Puck chuckled. "Well. There's this guy; his name is Kurt. He's been bugging me to get my act together. He's kind of a pain in the ass, but he's my pain in the ass. Getting to physics on time might be a good start on the whole good act thing."

"Probably."

Kurt parked the Navigator in the school parking lot, at that point releasing Puck's hand from his own to shut off the engine.

"Do you need a ride home after school," Kurt asked.

"Nah. My mom's going to pick me up. I have to see my parole officer about community service so, yeah."

"Alright. Just thought I'd ask."

"Later, Kurt." Puck got out of the Navigator and walked towards the high school.

Kurt stayed in his car for a bit so he could compose himself before going inside the school. Kurt looked at his right hand. He could feel the warmth of his hand cooling down. It hadn't even been a minute since Puck left, and Kurt missed the warmth.

His hands were what won over Kurt's affections, another secret he kept to himself.


	6. His Email

**His Email**

**Set in Season Two**

**Author's Note: This chapter is short on purpose.**

* * *

><p>Puck stared at the computer screen in front of him. The window had been open for a while. Five minutes? Ten minutes? He couldn't remember.<p>

"This is stupid. I can send a goddamn email."

Puck got off of the chair and paced around the spare bedroom. He alternated between yanking at his mohawk and shaking his head. Puck spoke before thinking most of the time, but when he had the opportunity to sit down and think about his words, he was able to have better control of his emotions. Puck used this method while writing papers for classes, and when he got bi-monthly updates from Shelley about Beth. Quinn had no idea that the two corresponded, but neither parent had spoken to the other since Beth's birth.

Puck stopped pacing, exhaled, and sat back down in the chair.

He hovered his fingers over the keyboard for a few moments, knowing that this email would probably change everything. Puck wasn't completely sure if he even wanted things to change. Everything would change anyway, but at least in this setting he could somewhat control said change.

"Kurt," he typed slowly, talking under his breath, "I didn't mean to blame you for my shit. Getting arrested was my fault, not yours. I didn't try to steal the ATM machine, like everyone thinks I did. I didn't crash the truck on purpose."

Puck removed his fingers from the keyboard and sat back. He re-read what he already typed a few times to spot any errors.

"When I was at the store that day, I was thinking about someone. I was thinking about my hug with that person and the gift they gave me. I enjoyed the hug probably more than I should have."

Enjoyed probably isn't the best word, Puck thought. _He might think I was jerking off to it or whatever._

Puck deleted the word.

"I thought about the hug probably more than I should have. That's what I was thinking about when I changed gears. I thought I had put the truck in reverse, but it went forward instead, obviously."

Puck paused, once again re-reading what he wrote. _Just say it, you fucking idiot._

"I guess I blamed you because I'm not supposed to like you. But I can't help it. I like you, as more than a friend. So, yeah, I hope you don't think I'm a pussy or whatever for admitting my feelings and junk."

Puck couldn't find a way to fix up that last sentence, so he typed in "From, Noah" as the signature. He added one more thing.

"P.S. You're not subtle. I know you like me too."

_Fucking hell. I sound like I'm in middle school. _

Puck pressed the send button. He held his breath until the checkmark icon appeared on the screen, then he exhaled. It was done. All he had to do was wait for Kurt's response. Puck hated waiting.

He would rather have Kurt teleport to his room instantaneously so then they could make out. The thought of them making out had Puck reaching for his jeans zipper.

_If a letter could be sent in an instant, so should a person._

* * *

><p>Dave Karofsky was playing a racing game on his computer when he saw an envelope icon appear, signaling that he had a new message. Dave paused the game and opened his inbox.<p>

**PUCKERMAN (No Subject)**

"What the hell do you want, Puckerman," Dave said to himself.

He clicked on the message and his eyes widened as he read.

"Kurt."


End file.
